The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 479
Production Info Intro Afro-homo-gedden * more tragic violence tonight * battle rages on * senseless imaginary warfare between blacks and gay ** tearing our great nation (or cable newsmen) apart * will it spark a culrute war with gay militant ** only if Stephen has anything to say about it * started with Porp 8 ** 70% af-am voted for ban * Mormans supported the ban as well ** therefore they're black * Afro-homo-gedden * Gayblackolypse * gays stole disco from the blacks ** blacks may be upset about the theft of disco * who gets to claim Little Richard ** more on this turmoil as Srephen makes it up Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger * Wag at Pope Benedict XVI ** for going "green" ** will effect Pope-choosing smoke signal * Catholics use every part of the Jesus * God's mode of communication: forest fire * two sets of carbon footprints on the beach ** the other set is Jesus revving his gas-powered leaf blower * Wag at Julian Norridge, a British author who claims baseball was invented by the British ** first mentioned in Jane Austin's "Northanger Abbey" * Tip to Marvel Comics ** in Marvel Universe, Stephen remained a viable candidate for President ** Also put Stephen on the cover of Amazing Spiderman #573 *** Daily Bugle, November 5, 2008 edition called the election for Dr. Colbert **** there was a mistake; the wrong headline was printed, which is why Stephen * Wag to Marvel Comics ** printed too early ** Stephen won the popular vote, but Obama won the electoral college *** It was Florida Owner's Emanuel * last week Obama made the first appointment of his new administration * he advised freshman Congressmen to avoid speaking to Stephen Colbert * Stephen responded by refusing to return the tip of Emanuel's finger * you may have the ear of the most powerful man on earth, but Stephen has your finger * Give Stephen a cabinet position * Sec Defense * Interior * White House dog ** has all his shots, mostly house broken *** if you lay a copy of the New York Times on the floor, Stephen promises to pee on it * full disclosure ** not really your finger * Stephen is offering his finger ** anything to get into the cabinet Interview * Stephen Moore * founder of Club for Growth, Stephen has been getting emails from them! * Stephen reads him in the Wall Street Journal ** something in common ** both against the bailout * doesn't matter if economy fails ** they have a theory to protect * political donors are getting * book "The End of Prosperity" * Obama is going to tax Christmas * comparing Obama to FDR ** New Deal was a disaster * World War 2 got us out of the Great Depression * that's why Dr. Colbert is pushing for WW3 * he loves Sarah Palin * the press crucified her ** she is very Christ-like * future of GOP ** very dim ** the leader is Ronald Reagan, like Tinkerbell * next to Dr. Colbert, Moore says the leader of the republican party is Rush Limbaugh ** unifying figure Epilogue * Dr. Colbert closed this episode at the Shelves of Honor ** still mad that he didn't win the Marvel election ** recreational googling, using the search parameters: *** Spiderman *** Barack Obama *** how can you tell if a zoo monkey is in love with you * Dr. Colbert found: Fifty facts about Barack Obama ** collects Spiderman, Conan the Barbarian comics * not a secret Muslim ** he's a secret nerd * Dr. Colbert and Joe Quesada signed it, making it extremely valuable ** Quesada volunteered to talk to Spiderman to get him to sign it to * Dr. Colbert places the Spiderman-collector bait on the shelf, inviting Obama to appear on "The Report" Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments